Bored

Welcome to the bored page, bored… well not any-more, here are some things to calm your boredom.

**************************CRAZY FUNNY QUESTIONS************************

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn’t be mysteries.
Do penguins have knees?
Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?
How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it?
Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?
In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?
Why are both of Spongebob’s parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?
Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel?
If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?
Why is it that if someone yells “duck” they are helping you, but if they yell “chicken” they are insulting you?
If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?

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DUMB AND CRAZY AMERICAN LAWS;;;;;

Alabama:

• Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.

• Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.

• You may not drive barefooted.

• You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
Alaska:

• A law in Fairbanks does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.

• Even though it is legal to hunt a bear, it is illegal to wake a bear and take a picture for photo opportunities.

• Kangaroos are not allowed in barber shops at any time.

Arizona:

• A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.

• Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.

• When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.

• You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

The best of the best:

• Pacific Grove: Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.

• Persons classified as “ugly” may not walk down any street.

• You may not educate dogs.

• You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.

• Coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears.
• All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road:

George W. Bush’s Answer:
Look, it’s tough crossin’ the road. The chicken knows it’s tough. The American people have got to understand that I know the chicken knows it’s tough. I read the report. But the chicken’s on the march. And it will get the job done .
Albert Einstein’s Answer:
That depends on the observer’s inertial frame of reference.
Homer Simpson ’s Answer:
There was free beer on the other side of the road.
Steve Jobs ’s (Apple) Answer:
Because of the brand-new iChicken- a portable device that crosses roads, lays eggs, gives wakeup calls and provides dinner, automatically. This amazing device can simply plug in to the $4000 iCoop to produce additional iChickens and recharge existing iChickens, or plug it into the $9000 iChop to convert iChicken files into iFood. iFood-to-Regular Food converters sell for an additional $50/month fee, however the optional iFood-to-FoodXP converter is still in development. iChickens are only available from authorized iDealers, which can be found in nearly every US state. If your iChicken develops a disease or stops working, you must send it by FedEx Overnight to Littleton, Montana and our iTechnicians will send you a replacement within 3 months. The iChicken. Wow.

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Stupid warnings:

Wet-Nap
Directions: Tear open packet and use.

Sleeping Pills
Warning: May cause Drowsiness

Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark

Children’s Superman Costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

American Airlines Peanuts
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

String of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

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